Reoccurring Dream

So this weekend, my dreaded reoccurring dream came back to haunt me. I haven't had this dream in quite a while. The dreams vary in settings, but the characters and plot always remain the same. It's always about me and a guy who I will call "Brandon". In the dreams, I love Brandon very much and my love is reciprocated. He is sweet, caring and we're always having passionate sex (in the dreams). In reality, I don't like Brandon very much. But once upon a time I used to love him. I've known him for close to 10 years. We talk from time to time, but we don't agree on much these days. Our relationship has been over for a long time, he's moved on and so have I. But, we do have an uncanny attraction for one another. Let's just say because of circumstances we don't act on that attraction. I've never known a person that can make me so angry and that I can have so much disdain for, but at the same time I'd be willing to hop into the sheets with. When I reflect on this fact, I can't make any sense of it. I keep my distance from Brandon as much as I can.

But I digress. I was plagued this weekend with not one, but two dreams about sex with Brandon. Wild, frequent, passionate sex with lots of panting, sweating and yelling. (Ugh!) The things that disturb me about these dreams is a.) how real they seem, and b.) how they make me feel emotionally afterward. I feel touched as if, I still do have love in my heart for Brandon. When I told one of my friends about my dreams and subsequent feelings she asked me ,"Well do you still love him???" And I answered, " I don't think so."

I don't think I still love Brandon. He's done some incorrigibly wrong things to me and I know had I stayed with him, I would have not been happy. He just happens to be the star in my sexual/emotional trysts of my dream world. Lucky him.

I don't know what it means when I have these dreams. I don't know if there is something that my subconscious is trying to tell me, or if there are remnants of love in my heart for this person, or what....